MyHappyCountryFarm

I misses you ... Last week. December 7th. It was my Mami 2nd year anniversary of her passing. I misses her somehow terrible. I just can't explain or describe how much I misses her. Sometimes it is easy to express my feeling with words ... not mine but of someone else. When I found this picture on the internet I thought this is how I am feeling right now. "It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember" said the quote. I don't even know who actually said it. My Mami gave me so much to remember ... giving birth of me. I remembered,  a long time ago ... she told me, I was a very sickly child.  A sickly first born that is. She thought I might not going to make it. She told me I wasn't even talking until I was three. I vaguely remembered ... I used to stay behind the bedroom door when guest coming visiting. I will stayed until everyone leaves.  No talking. Just stayed behind the door. One day ... she told me ... I just open my m...

“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.”  ―  Lucy Maud Montgomery,  The Story Girl They said time will heal your grief. I am still grieving. You don’t see it but I can feel it inside me. They said I should let it go. If I let it go I will forget. I do not want to let her go. I can’t let her go ... at least not yet I wish we have one last moment together Just to say my final goodbye, in person. May be she can appear as my dream I will be able to say goodbye, face to face I wants to see her smile again I wants to her voice again This grieving making me losing my sense I do not want to let her go, yet May be that is why memories becoming painful This is the 3rd Christmas without her. Tomorrow is 2nd anniversary of her passing. I misses her somehow terribly painful. Would time really heal my pain?

Memories Memories. Warm you up from inside. Making you smile. Making you happy. Wonder. Warm you up from inside. Memories need to be shared. Memories is like photograph that capture a moment, that moment has gone forever, there is no printing machine will ever reproduce that moment. May be that is one reason I treasure old photographs. But guess what … As long as we remember those moments, nothing is actually really being lost. What is one memory that warms you up from inside? Mine is a picture taken a long time ago in France.

Never regret a day in your life: good days give happiness, bad days give experience, worst days give lessons, and best days give memories. --- Unknown. Today. Tired. Looking for an inspiration. Encouragement. Light at the end of the tunnel. Silver lining. Rainbow. Hope. I am learning … Being positive,   good things happen. Be optimistic. An optimist understands that life can be a bumpy road, but at least it is leading somewhere … yes I am. Mistakes and failures are good lesson. Do not afraid to fail again. I am working on it. Be patient … everything will fall into place. What was your day like?

Monday. Monday is a good day to start a new day. Monday blues? No. I don't have Monday blues. First day of the new week always an awesome day. Beautiful day. Motivated. Happy. I am planning to apply a new job. May be it is a time to move on. But I do have some fears ... out of my comfort zone. It has been a long while since I work ... I mean really working. At the moment? I am just a part time Skills Trainer. I work at certain nursing home in town for the mentally challenge resident. When I just started ... working with mentally challenge patient totally new to me. It has been seven months. May be it is time to move on. Someone gifted me a sign sometimes ago ... its read ... "Let your FAITH be bigger than your fears." Well ... do my faith bigger then my fears or my fears bigger then my Faith? This applying a new job thing really about my "Faith" & "fears". Will talk about that another day. Don't you fearful too to the ...

Today. Sunday. Bible Study. Choir. Church.  Hope Advent Worship. Celebrate! A Musical Christmas Experience. Awesome Christmas music. Beautiful Day. I love a sunny beautiful day. Fall is definitely here. Christmas is coming. Do you celebrate Christmas? 

Today is the first day of December and the last month of the year. Can you believe that? Just a week ago we were celebrating Thanksgiving Day. Did you have a good Thanksgiving Day? Third Thursday of November. Happy Thanksgiving. Get together. Celebration. Food. Turkey. Pumpkin Pie. Children. Visiting. Talking. Laughing. Family. Wonderful tradition. I love celebrating Thanksgiving Day with my family here in the USA. I love the family get together and visiting each other. My sister in laws, they are all great cooks. I have pictures to prove it. Thanksgiving Day is like the Harvest Festival we celebrate back home in Sabah, Malaysia. Every year in the month of May, the DusunKadazan people will have a festival locally known as “Tadau Ka’amatan”, Harvest Festival that is. It is a celebration to thank God for their bountiful harvest of rice. We eat a lot of rice over there in Malaysia. During the festival a lot of home cooked food and yummy-lic...

  Don’t you love a mystery movie? I do. Mystery and suspense. Yes. Can you think of any good fun mystery movie you have seen lately? Well ... I have been watching Hallmark Christmas Movies. They are all hallmark movie movies. Very hallmark-y, my other half would said. No mystery on Hallmark Christmas movies ... I guess but Hallmark Channel do have their mystery movies. Oh I love them all, expect for the commercial time. I don’t hate the commercial I just hate it my movie watching being interrupted. Won’t you hate it too? I was the A Bramble House Christmas last week. Oh it is exciting to watch it from the beginning till the end. Eemmm ... won’t you get excited trying to find out what actually happening at A Bramble House Christmas? The info said .. “while setting his father’s estate, a man becomes suspicious as to why the man left his nurse $50,000 after knowing her for less that two months before he died. So I watch it till the end. Happy ending. It is sure a very ...

“Real women fight for something, other than their own emotions.”  ―  Shannon L. Alder Is this true? A real women do not fight with their own emotions? I am just wondering. I am not good at fighting anyway ... physically or emotionally. Is that mean I am not a real woman? What really real woman mean then? I know I am just grumbling around. It is hard to focus in anything when you are just grumbling around. If I am not fighting on my emotions what am I fighting for then? I have to admit ... I get really sad and down and blank. Today I am just feeling empty inside. Am I depress then? Distress? Honestly I am trying to fight all these sadness and down-ness and blank-ness. I don't think anyway understand all these emotions of my right now. The problem is that no one can read it on me because it wasn't written on my forehead. Is this mean I am not a real woman? Well ... are you are real woman? How do one becoming a real woman or women?

I am for once ... a person lack of focus. It seem that I can't focus about anything. Well ... can you focus on anything  When ...  -   your forgotten to take the plants inside the house and they all all got burned. -   you found out your car is smoking while you are driving to work? -   you found the goats was inside the chicken pen and eat up all the feeds, Boo going to get real sick. Well these are just part of trivia of life. But honestly there are something else more that make me hard to focus on anything. An issue of health ... anytime of the year is not a good time to get sick but especially in the cold cold winter season it can be worst. Well ... I have to admit it is hard to focus on anything when things are seem going crazy around you.  Sometimes I just going blank. Sometimes I wonder if I should cry. Sometimes I try to be focus on the important part of my day to day life. And sometimes ... I like to read some of th...

Thanksgiving is a big celebration in the United States. It is like having a Harvest Festival back home. I love celebrating Thanksgiving my darling hubby family ... lots of things to be thankful for. All of my sister in laws are great cook .... my oldest sister in law she baked four different dessert on Thanksgiving. All of them are yummylicious. But of course I am not only just talking about delicious and yummylicious food on Thanksgiving. I am grateful for everything and everything ... I am not very good with words but I suppose Ralph Waldo Emerson poem will help me to express my gratefulness. I am thank you Father, Almighty. We Thank Thee by Ralph Waldo Emerson For flowers that bloom about our feet, Father, we thank Thee. For the song of bird and hum of bee, For all things fair we hear or see, Father in heaven, we thank Thee. For blue of stream and blue of sky, Father, we thank Thee. For fragrant air and cooling breeze, For beauty of the blooming trees, Father in ...

" November comes  And November goes,   With the last red berries  And the first white snows. With night coming early,  And dawn coming late,  And ice in the bucket  And frost by the gate. The fires burn  And the kettles sing,  And earth sinks to rest  Until next spring." -  Elizabeth Coatsworth Happy Friday to you. Happy 2nd Day of November to you too. I hope you are having a great day.  I suppose Friday is a casual day. It is a cold Friday Day. I hope little Ring have a nice comfy place to sleep in. Ring is a sweet little dog. Have a good day to you Ring.

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”  ―  Helen Keller,  The Open Door I like collecting quotes ... this month I am going to collect all the Challenges Quotes that I think challenges me. Sometimes you need something to inspires you and challenges at the same time. Which quotes challenge you and inspire you at the same time?

February Persimmon February. They came so fast if you blink you probably won't even notice it. February is a beautiful month. February make me think of the Valentine's Day. Love. Someone's birthday. Shortest month. Cold. I found some quotes which might reflecting on what I am feeling right now about February. “The Very first moment I beheld him, my heart was irrevocably gone.”  ― Jane Austen, Love and Friendship”   Yes of course I am thinking about him, darling, the man who capture my heart and my friend and lover in February. “The only thing we should scream into the world is love.”  ―  Jill Telford Well ... what would you think about in February if not about the world is love? Happy Valentine's Day to everyone who will be celebrating this month of love. “February - the month of love..?!!  No wonder the shortest one in the calendar.”  ―  Dinesh Kumar Biran Do we celebrate February as the shortest month in the cal...

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”  ―  Nora Ephron I found this quote by accident this morning. Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. by Nora Ephron. Who is Nora Ephron? She is the director, screenwriter and producer of the 2009 movie, Julie & Julia. One of my favorite movie. I still watch it once in awhile.  Often dragging my darling hubby to watch it with me. He knows I like Julia Child. I am a beginner collector of Julia Child cooking books. Well ... be the heroine of your life, not the victim. For a while ... since my Mami went away forever ... I have been feeling sorry for myself. I cried now and then every time I think of my Mami. I get mad now and then when I remembered I have to stay at HK International Airport for 8 hours before my next flight ... and knowing that she didn't waited for me. She has gone to be with the Lord since 05.55AM that morning, while I was on the my plane from Los...

“But nobody ever tells you in advance when  you should concentrate  on the good times-that's  why you're supposed to do it every day.”   ―  Jordan Sonnenblick ,  After Ever After I sure misses the good time with you. I still can't over with it that you are no longer here with me. I misses you everyday, every time I think of you. My heart bleed and I wanted to cry. I misses you, everyday. How do I concentrate on the good times we had before when I know you are no longer here with me, with us. I still feel weird every time when I think of you, you are no longer here with me. I love you, Mami.